World of Life-I am in it

2008-04-09T16:48:00.002+08:00

2 more days till itp end! weeee
sch starts with FYP soon..

hais...ytd i think i saw annabel...as expected i nv tok to her..i acted as if i was playing my psp...plugged 2 inner ear phones juz to prevent contact...cox i dunno wat to say to her..after i felt quite hurt tat time..i dun wan rmb those times..worst is i suddenly rmb her bday is today...hais...y i rmb it...i also dunno y...i gt nth to give or offer her at all...i cant msg her too..cox i lost her no. ..even i hav i dunno wat to say...

my mind now is only carolyn noone else...i stil haven gt to see her ever since 2-3 weeks ago from the competition..i think i miss her..but i dunno wat to do..lol..hopeless me..hahas

busy making presents n "thk u" cards for the itp...i made lik 20 cards...damn siao...all handwritten..i think pp think i crazy ba...hahas..
photos up soon...STAY TUNED...lol

2008-04-03T09:44:00.004+08:00

went Hong Kong on Good friday...will update with photos later...
the food is nt tat surprising...roadside stalls r still the best...
alot of shopping but very little spending...things r nt as cheap as i expected

Jap food is damn EXPENSIVE! walao shld hav waited to come back to sg to eat...almost 2times more exp...sashimi dunno y cut so fat n big also...izzit gd or bad..lol

walao! the hotel wireless muz pay! damn sucky! stayed at prudential hotel...
use a few mins also counted as 1hr!wtf!its lik u go lan shop n pay for an hr of gaming

went disneyland!
lights n scenery there is nice if u r a person interested in their stuffs
the rides seems interesting but did nt hav a chance to take the ride as it was a public holiday tat day...the entrance ticket is very expensive! about S$100!
the fireworks super nice! wil put up wat i took soon...

bought a necklace for carolyn but suddenly think of it-y did i buy it?
true tat i wanna woo her but y will i buy...i also dunno...its still kept in my drawer rotting...dun dare give to her..cox its a heart shape...
esp recently i juz know her so cant take too many chances i think
she has someone she likes but nt me...so...i think i juz wait n see...
muz thk henghao for trying to help me...he tried to plan things where carolyn n i could meet...but till now no chance to meet yet...=(
only tok to her thru msn or sms...i guess i also wont be able to tok...

Tat Billy almost got my intentions!he go tell carolyn tat i lik her lucky henghao helped me..whew...or else i am doomed...

ITP is finishing! but sch is starting! time to meet my classmates again! esp the gang or u call it clan..hahas...sadly kenny is nt with us...=(
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Seeing u is like I juz saw the light
The comfortable light tat I wanted
I could nt control my feelings for u
Ur eyes r juz beautiful looking into
Your eyes makes me wan to turn
Away as I dunno wat I might do
Something tat I shld nv do and nv
Do before ever since I was born
I think i love u

Project Jumper & Kabuto

2008-02-19T20:23:00.002+08:00

y i call this project jumper n kabuto cox both r too similiar

Jumper

Kamen rider Kabuto

the difference is tat one has armor n one does not...
i super dun lik it...its lik piracy...
i hope they r being sued...

Jumper---can teleport to any place anytime which is lik night crawler but this guy can move thousand miles away...its lik "heroes" hiro nakamura...

Kabuto---can move faster than normal time n can reverse time n travel to anywhere he wans to...

Jumper is lik a total copied version except tat kabuto is a japan show while jumper is an eng movie...both can change the future...

the fact is kabuto came out in 2005 n jumper in 2008...u guys shld catch the movie jumper n watch kabuto n u will realise its exactly the same thing...
____________________________________________________________________________________

i need pass up the FYP form but haven decided topics... me,ric,chen and xy will be in the gp...so happy to hav them rather than other pp...

so tired from wk...given a whole stack of accounting to do...i did measurement but i seem to forget my Rebar stuffs...n i did nt do tat...so damn jia lat...

2008-02-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

exams over! =D
but attachment coming...=(
my attachment gt transport! yeah!

so fun going out with our gang...3days in 2 weeks..lol...when will i get involved so much...
esp dionna's bday
i cant believe we did tat though...we ps dionna alone...supposed to make dionna missing n feel alone but in the end xy went missing instead...haha

now i thinking y i lik bel...after really forgetting her...
i cant think of a gd reason y...
but if realy with her i will know y...but now i dun...
love is out of the way for me for now...nv even wan to think of it...it hurts pp's hearts incldg mine...
hais...Valentine's day coming n i hav nth in mind...dunno who to ask out also..hoping there will be a gathering for singles only on tat day...i will be emo sia...

i cant believe i gt a $200+ shoe...i dun usually spend so much.... but i think its worth it...went shopping with richard on sunday...bought alot of stuffs but nv gt a top i lik...n i gt another JACKET...my parents scolded me for getting another one...i am going broke...

will upload some photos soon...=) incldg ric's pose photo..lol!

2008-01-05T16:41:00.000+08:00

the song i practising now...

stupid sia...i ran out of contact lenses...sians...went karate with specs ytd..
i being sent to teach kimberly senjin...lol...damn funny...keep losing our conecntration...in the end become toking class...lol...tats my prob with gals i know...lol...tok instead of serious stuffs...hahas...

ytd and today toking to reina...bf probs...y arh...y some guys dun treasure their gfs...gals r to care for nt quarrel with...although some may say "ta jiu shi teng,ma jiu shi ai" but it dun makes sense when both r in relationship...
i also dunno how to console her n stuffs...i am so useless...
these few days damn cold sia...i at hm sometimes also muz wear jacket...then wake up sneeze alot...hais...my resistant is weakening i think...but i hope not...

HEY!WHO KNOWS HOW TO PUT MUSIC IN BLOG...ALL MY URL CANNOT WK...PLS TEACH ME!

she nv reply me le...think i shld juz delete her no. ...shld i?
pp say juz forget bout her...will getting rid of her no. help?
someone juz enlighten me pls...
lol...

sihui damn funny...ask me if ade in class...i am lik...how she know ade nt adeline though...lol
i know lik so many adelines...gt one specific name is ade...so i gt stunned...

22&21 pp pls turn up for classes...and dun be late...will hav alot of tips....listen in class!!dun slp! lol

lastly, sry yong,ric,chen and kenny tat i nv help u all with site report...
u guys know my slp timing...i off my hp when i slp de...so if off means i slp le...
make u al so tired the next day....

JUSTICE!!!

2008-01-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

ITS ANOTHER YEAR ENDED!
SAYING HI TO THE NEW YEAR 2008!

problems:
my studies lik lagging out
my psp keep hanging...need repair anot
feel lik i getting hooked to dota
i still think of "her" although i hav tried nt to do anything...argh]
dunno how to solve some problems with some people...(dun wry...none in our class)
starting to get habit of last min wk
how to continue ITP if i go overseas competition? hais

Aims:
get rid of dota life
repair psp or buy new one?!!!!
study more n less playing
get my emotions n happiness and get my heart back to normal
win my 1st team kata medal!
start wk early
get dressed properly
change my specs
get back my hobbies-basketball, badminton, bowling and soccer and maybe pool

hais...
busy preparing tml's interview for gems...ouch!
muz wear formal...argh..will be damn hot...
so busy sia...

exams in 2WEEKS TIME my class!!! prepare!! no last min wk esp JC...hahas...

today took pics for BMT at gombak...lol...i lost my way around sia...omg! my old area n i forget!! damn diu lian...

DANGEROUS INCIDENT
Xiangyong toking to cai on hp...xy, me n chen waiting to cross road...xy nv look for vehicles and juz stepped onto the road n walked...
lucky cai put dwn hp n the horn was loud enough n chen's shout was loud enough too..lol...it was lik seeing a scene of life n death
no wonder police banned pp to tok on hp when driving cox will lose concentration...lol
XY! we dun wan lose u leh!
its quite stupid of me nt to react fast tat time..if cai nv put dwn hp a life will be lost...

woohoo...i made friend with this gal n she say will give me anime shows...all!!! bleach n naruto!! will nt be missed already...lol...exchange shows sia...i give her tons n a trade is done..haha...she is pretty but nt tat chio..lol..no intentions though...i did nt expect a gal to be into anime n she even did cosplay...omg lor...

i need go do structures le...bye...

Justice shall prevail! Justiriser!! -.-lll
hahas...i being lame

2007-12-30T13:15:00.001+08:00

i found this card in my room..this will represent the date tat this entry will tok about but nt 1988 though...lolthis is the balloon tat was made on 25dec i take it as 26dec cox its past midnight then...lol...
cute right?
actually we made small piglets too..but the adults there dump it in their cups...dirty so nv take...
it was a christmas party n played games with the adults...
Children ownage!!! we won them..lol...but by luck though...
thx to the experience in BE camps i play the game fast...lol

this cert i will nv throw sia...its directly on my bday...spoilt my day sia...supposed go watch movie n hang out with my cousins n RGS pp n clan pp...
damn jialat tat day...lik no bday lik tat..train damn hard...gt one gal over there also bday...i saw a cake n tot was mine..but its nt...lol...i think too much...noone would give me other than my family..lol...tat day went out for dinner i damn tired..n no mood...my hairdo was terrible...i style lik nv style lik tat...no mood to do sia...lol

NOW FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS DURING CHALET!

i gt chen present...look at it...bet u all will jealous...lol...so nice n diao...n this is from cai...can hang on wall...lol...but no string..hahas...jking...nice one anyway..more things to come...this from dionna..i did nt see it at first but was in my bag when i gt hm...lol..more chocs to make me fat...lol

ah! this one...being sabo de...lol...its a prize for dancing...damn it sia...i damn ugly sia ...damnce alone with a balloon!!! argh....u all gonna pay for this...

NOW BDAY PRESENTS!

walao...this one damn jialat...lol..xiang yong gave to me...wats it supposed to mean sia...lol...i haven open to use yet...its a pen acutally...lol...

the board by U ALL!!! =)
drawing by chen...
"oi...dun need the moustache de loh...lol...braces also...lol"

Sry guys...i could nt post the adidas shirt online cox its in the washing machine...lol
thx for tat...=)

this is one expensive present...lol...from my cousins...

hav u all studied for ur exams yet? lol...i doubt so except for zhixiang i think

2007-12-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

wat a busy week with studying n some gaming...
whew...lucky she nv msg me or call to ask further...if she ask further i might juz say out...
as a friend i am fine with it but lik she going too far...argh...i keep saying it..lol...
i dun wan both parties to get hurt n do not wan to confront her...later she cry then i kanna scolded...i dun wan...

y the party start at night?!!!! no afternoon...=( hope i can ask my karate teacher if i can nt go n make up another time...
i think he is gonna say "if skip one day u will lose ur physical fitness n accuracy n stuffs..."
i also hope sx can come also...lol...i so long nv see her also...bout 1yr+

y muz a karate meet be on a sunday...hais...n is my day also...=(
i wan go out with her also cannot...i doubt she can make it also...
my friend say is true...if one will like one person...the person will do anything for him or her even by skipping lessons...n even training...
i shld heed her advice n stop...from here...i stop...
i am leading a solo life...

ah...relax n enjoy...i dun understand y some pp find relationships a hindrance(for pp who dunno wat this means-a zhu ai)
i find it so nice actually...some pp lik juz play play...y dun they take pp's feelings seriously...

gtg for whole day out plus karate...cya

2007-12-17T19:16:00.000+08:00

i am gonna blabber rubbish again...endure...
walao eh...being lied...i dun lik being lied...i dunno wat my ex meant when she said "i kinda attached to wk" i was lik orh...cox as friends will ask attached already anot n stuffs
she still tok to me till sounds lik bf n gf stuffs...but i hav no intention...
then today realise being lied sia by seeing friendster...
tat day went out to go some job thingy..then a guy was there...i tot was a friend..then he tok to me bout products n stuffs
strangely he ate with us...then i already knew something le...then today juz nice came across friendster...then realise they tgt...
BAKA!!!
stupid sia...tat day still let me sit with her i also dunno y though...if i knew it was lik tat i already let him sit with her...idiot sia...
it might become hatred for me...
juz hate being lied...
___________________________________________________________________
from this...i hav decided nt to be near to anyone anymore...even guys...i now am frozen in time...then would wan to speed away from pp...
i shld nt be toking to anyone...n living my life of enjoyment of loneliness...
NEGATIVE
is the word in my mind...till now...almost turned to positive but this time..dwn to worst...
my life is turned upside dwn...
i wan to say to myself....die man! let me die...

i dun care who will care for me...none has been the best friend...
i know friends hav said i xiao qi or things lik tat...cox my mood is very unstable...but no counselling needed...
i am crazy already

come! screw up my life...my life is already screwed...

momotaros : Ore Sanjou!
urataros : Bokuni Zulatemilu
kintaros : Orewa Zuyosawa Makerute
ryutaros : Taos keru eyo nei, kotewaru kitenai

2007-12-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

busy doing projects n wk...so tiring...
so lonely at hm seriously..i wan go out...
one by one all go holiday then or else would be busy or cannot step out of hse...
ARGH!
i dun wan get addicted to gaming n yet some pp ask me play game to remove boredom...but i dun wan tat...feel lik i am juz looking at a screen...
lucky today i gt things to do on com or else dun think i wan on com...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
sry guys for nt being able to turn up for the christmas party...
i might drop by during the day time...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
today tok to a friend...being asked try something new instead of staying at one thing...
being asked look go after my ex sia...but i cant forget the other...n i did nt hav any intention to...my friend keep asking me juz go try...
i cant change my mind on it...

i juz realise i am lik too over board in the past...
gals dun lik unfaithful guys right?
i was faithful n stayed away from others but el n kenny say y i lik tat...i shld be making friends with gals but not getting close to them...
yup...but to me..i dun wan make the gal jealous...

OI! XIANG YONG! NV LET ME KNOW BOUT UR BLOG!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
back to my projects now...gtg...

(how i wish we could be together even if u think it might not last)

Hanging Out Day

2007-11-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

went out with wenqi...sure long time nv see her...bout 2yrs since
hasnt change much but become musculine...
went eat at breeks for lunch...lol...i nv had a real 1to1 meal with a gal...hahas...was enjoying with her though...but the worst thing is...we spent 30mins juz to decide wat to eat...longest record sia...

i juz realise i hav quite a gd taste at helping gals find accessories sia...we went from shop to shop to find her prom accessories...wanted go to marina to find peishan to help but she say dun wan...instead went diva in vivo...dunno is i know her well or wat...juz got the right stuffs for her...she also stun tat i can let her look gd...i also stun myself....
her mum called n said hi to me..lol...so strange though...last time wan go out she object...now go out allow...lol...
i cant believe she gamer too...DOTA! lol...quitting is difficult if addicted...

so sad...nv took pic with her though...cant leave a memory...we roamed and tok till 4+ sia...its lik omg...if her friend nv call we dun even know the time...

dunno y we walk the guys walking around keep looking at her...then i look behind to see but nth wrong leh...asked her cover herself up...lol...still ask me "dunno y pp keep looking,i also nt chio" hahas...i really wan laugh out loud...

i will rmb ur clumsiness...and ur words..."u r the guy i rmb as...." and u still rmb my bday n wish me every yr...so touched...=)
dunno y i juz wan meet u again soon....lol
___________________________________________________________________

i wan to msg u...but i really dunno wat to say...say some things then u will not reply...i really dunno how to keep msging..cox lik to me i see u as thinking tat i wasting ur msgs...i feel lik asking u to lead the way instead of me leading the way...cox it nv follows...
yes...i miss u very badly...indeed...but...i juz cant find the chance to see u...
___________________________________________________________________
"anonymous" is right to say the virtue
"some things are not meant to be hold to long..releasing will help u progress"
EXACTLY!MY GAMING! ARGH!

2007-11-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

thx passer-by...i juz wan release wat i think on blog...i cant bottle myself up cox this will cause exploding... =)

STFU RIC!
stop insulting pp's integrity! prostitution?! KNN! u go geylang find urself!
dun act as if u know wat i am saying...understand it before blaring out words...
i nv think i was great...if i was great i would already had done other things...
u muz be thinking dota...i love my team...they r great!
workwise...i nv tot so too...i hav been wking hard for myself

Zhixiang knows tat he cannot lose out to others...he is wking hard from time to time...tats the thing i admire most...i join him as he has something i really respect n wish to learn from him...
we r a class...wat for we ps him...he is gd in his manner...but u all is gd in another manner...but u all stay too far from me...how i meet u all for projects...
zhixiang is gd n willing to sacrifice n come all the way to do project n study with me...

i nv do with u all e-learning is because i need a quiet environment n nt too many pp as i cant concentrate...
___________________________________________________________________
toking bout hugging thing...
i gt my cousin, janelle, mt and "her"...
they r willing to listen...n understand...
hug is my cousin n "her"
my cousin is so many yrs younger...we r lik bro n sis...
we always tok probs with each other...

___________________________________________________________________
i still wan say again...
sry lee ping...did nt mean to do anything bad about u...
but wasnt meant bout u taking the bluetooth thingy k?
sincere apologies to lee ping...u need the bluetooth again juz tell me...
___________________________________________________________________
i hav ulcers n really do nt wan to really tok...
laugh as much as u wan...esp Xiang Yong "Ya Ba"
___________________________________________________________________
thx to jerome, my uncle and bel for trying to help me with my econs...
but although bel nv teach me anything n no notes to me...argh...hahas
i still wan thk her...love u...

2007-11-01T16:13:00.000+08:00

Knn la those who created these msgs...

"after several times of consideration i've decided tat we are not suit to work tgt. So i will join others for project and tmr i aready mit my cousin le. Sorry for tat!"

"seriously, i dun feel good wif u all! U hab been treating mi lik a fool! N no matter wat u all do, u dun care n never ask bout how i feel! Bloody chicken! Stop chicken shitting around me. :) actually i feel good with richard they all. You can choose to join us but Dun break us apart or we will break you apart."

I TOKING SERIOUS MATTERS WAT THE FUCK U ALL INTERFERE! NONE OF UR FUCKING BUSINESSES! U THINK I SO DUMB AS NOT TO SENSE ANYTHING WRONG! DUNNO WAT THE FUCK U ALL THINKING!
MATTER IS ME N CHEN ALREADY SAID TUESDAY N Y THE FUCK U ALL WAN CARE! THIS THING IS SUPPOSED BETWEEN ME N CHEN!

u think u guys know me well? the fact is NOT AT ALL...
u hav to look at different aspects...i hav looked at zhi xiang...he is nt tat crafty he juz wans to expand his knowledge n master his wk fast...stop doubting him...ric...ur char prediction sux!!!!

U ALL WAN SAY ME SAY STRAIGHT AT MY FACE! DUN HIDE BEHIND PP N SAY!
___________________________________________________________________

i really juz wan to hug u...like i told u...dunno y i juz so love u....i hav no idea y...
but sometimes i juz wan give u up...i dunnoo when i will get hold of u...i juz wish as soon as possible...

___________________________________________________________________
damn bad luck to the core these days...
1)karate meet on my bday
2)rejected chance to go compeition
3)cannot play for clan okey due to exams...
4)my keyboard spoil
5)kanna shoot n they tot it was fun

my wishes now are
1)win a clan competition
2)get GPA at least 3
3)i wan someone to hug n understands me
4)play basketball again
5)a real friend

2007-10-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wan to do evil...cox i feel its getting boring...after hearing alot pp's words till they give up telling me...i think maybe i really hav to think it over...
my true char is patient, very outgoing even more than charles or xy....giving in to pp alot...n others i dunno...i juz wan overcome all these to become another person...lol..

these few days keep seeing alan look at me...damn suay loh...i act dao sia...hahas...
gt kanna eye contact with him=1yr of bad luck
bad of me though...lol

sry guys....i cant go chalet with u all...cox parents dun allow n i dun wan myself to die from karate also...n i think i wan hav some time for her...if possible..maybe all hopes r lost...i dunno

honestly i hav been gaming everyday trying to forget...its lik omg...exam coming...wth am i doing...lol

dun sad k?i will wish tat u will promote...i dun wan u to suffer, scolded by parents, seen dwn by ur classmates, main thing dun wan see u cry...i will be beside u always...=)

walao...ytd damn jealous loh...on my left xy n el were lik telling me they sweet toking with each other...on my right...ric toking to his gf on msn...hais...where is mine!!!!!!!!!!!
everytime i see my sis go out with bf i sian diao...JEALOUSY KILLS!! ARGH!

sometimes i see this person i will think tat i lik her...i am lik omg...wat am i doing? lol...
seriously see alan n lizhen will get jealous also...
i still am thinking wat xiang yong has told me...

clan competition soon!! yeah! hope can win clan DXD again...lol...

i wan screw my karate sia...hav stupid course for me on my bday!!! its lik wth..y muz it be on tat day...then i think stupidly one wedding on the same day also...sian...n i going out with my cousin's also...argH!...

i stop here then..no bluetooth to upload pics...argh..hahas

2007-10-11T18:22:00.000+08:00

honestly...i still haven get over it...dunno y...hais...almost see anyhting..i am being reminded...till now noone understands me...i shld hav nv moved a single bit...think seriously...i shld be frozen...
honestly..i really hate to be alone...it sux...

went AMK to eat 2days ago! my 1st time there...so cool...i was damn stunned jun chen forgot bout the book tat el asked him to hold in 7eleven...he juz walked out without paying...i was lik...how the hell he did tat...

stupid xy n kenny... say tat the most valuable thing of me is my PSP!!! i was lik diaos...okay loh...dun lik me say loh...
but...muz thk kenny for giving me my songs...

i juz feel lik slping each time i go class...even sweets does not help much...hais

2007-09-28T16:16:00.000+08:00

_____________
! ___________!=========== Chester is Dead!
! !/)
!_!

lol...most would hav expected me to say tat...
being rejected again! arghs...
it is sad...but i will be ok...juz hope noone irritates me this week though...lol!
so tired! cant think bout it much...keeping myself occupied...but i dun need to cox those STUPID PROJECTS!

i am really fine...not i dun wan tok to u ytd...is really i juz nice finish go tag ur blog de...cox i really finding pics for my presentation tml...i am serious...its ok...i will be fine...

stupid me! i made so many mistakes this week...nth is going my way this week...my stupid CT gt lik only 50%...its lik equals to retest pp will get same marks as me! ah!!!!! i destroyed my save game data from my psp! shit! shld not hav meddled with it... then my earphone left side spoil! its lik omg! i juz bought it bout less than 2mths n now its spoiled! hated it... and stupid MBW! i finish gt A but i damn angry...in the end i help others with the mistakes i did then they gt A+! wtf sia...no fair!.

"when pp love others, they become weaker. But this is nth to be ashamed of, cox it is not true weakness"

hais...my true weakness has been overly revealed...i muz overcome tat weakness...

i cant believe today our gp's straw building can handle so many things! i was lik WOW! went over my expectations! even alan cant believe...the loook on his face was lik "cfm will fall after wb's bag" then nv fall...then was lizhen's bag...i was already looking at the unstable structure...did not expect it to survive their bags' weight...
2A22 ROCKS! WE BEAT 21!!! WOOHOO!!! =X sry to 21 pp who come see here...haha

i gt to slp...next time will blog..

Sch Reopen!

2007-09-23T14:31:00.000+08:00

sch reopen after one mth of holiday...i still feel in the holiday mood...lol
sry...i know i in games i very concern bout rules...i always hav this habit...i think alot pp will think tat way too...

i am very scared now...thursday is DDay for me...either i survive or die...i very wry bout ur decision...i only can hope the decision is wat i wanted...my stupid negative thoughts make me think i will fail this obstacle...argh!i dunno y...

i juz love u...usually if one gt sick most pp would not wan go near the person...even if i sore eye u still meet me...i very touched...

u told me tat most pp tat contact u r guys...true..i am concerned bout tat....cox i am afraid...
____________________________________________________________________
i cant believe my hand sunburn finally peeled when i at karate lik juz recently...its lik 1 WEEK!

its lik so disgusting...my hand even had cuts...

i chose my gems efective job search...i hav no idea wat gems to choose..i juz wan complete all 3 criterias...cox i know 3rd yr gonna be damn busy...sry chen...

i am not gonna blog till my DDay...juz see if i am happy or sad...noone knows...

2007-09-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

i wan to faint sia...my results sux...was told my gems get A but now is B+...sux...disappointed with results...
y everything against me...blogger also...past few days i cant even post anything...even asked by pp is my blog dead...i reinstalled the whole internet thingy n its wking again...
ytd celebrate xy bday...was fun...damn! lost to gals in everything...not even 1 win...forfeited so many times...i damn stun when i heard them say kiss each other...i was lik no way! my kiss not for anyone de...lol...ate squid ink spag but they all gt shock...hahas...

XY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! again!

argh! i know nth at all...ask me go cycle i dunno...ask go rollerblade i dunno...ah ya! might as well dun call me...i am useless de...

argh!always gt chance meet u but always failed...hais...i haven changed my heart ever since...juz hope will be tgt soon...anyway gd luck for exams anyway...=)

I WAN PLAY BBALL SOCCER BADMINTON!!!!!

2007-08-27T19:46:00.000+08:00

i am supposed to be happy bout holidays but really bored...stayed at hm n stoned...i decided to go learn something...hope i can master it soon...

i think i need go wk for my dad soon....hais...no wk pay...sux...

my friend said this...dun guess who it is...its juz someone tat u all dunno

friend:she not ur gf y u stick to her and get so worked up? got so many others around
me:huh? i do lik her n would not juz flirt around loh...
friend:diao.lame la.how u know she will lik u leh?i doubt so loh
me:i wan to try...will not know if one does not try though i got think of giving up b4...
friend:ah yo.she know u so long still haven accept u...very hard...think just give up ba
me:i hope will be soon ba...i dunno also...if rejected then say ba...i cant juz be looking for other gals n wooing her at the same time right?
friend:diao.now wat generation.
me:i believe wat i believe...i think i will still wait ba...i cant juz half way give up...
friend:how u know if she hav another guy n juz taking u as an extra
me:she wan me trust her then i trust her...i cant dun believe right
friend:ah yo.k loh.nth to say..................

sry if offend anybody...dunno y i think n think lik make alittle sense...alot pp keep asking me y so long nv together...i also dunno how to ans them...

indeed i feel a little left out sometimes cox i feel all her friends r much more impt than me...i really hope after ur exams we can really start...
God, can juz give her less wk or else i cannt even meet her or stand a chance n my wait might be futile...
help me!!!

argh!

2007-08-15T11:16:00.000+08:00

stupid flu...running nose plus serious cough...sux...how to do exam tml on this kind of situation? hais...hate it...
couple of times i feel lik giving up...seriously...i dunno y...some insecurity? sometimes i thinking...strange?y would i feel tat way...there r tons of other things to do...sometimes i look at it...realise tat there seems to be more care on others....jealousy?maybe...till now my feelings r in a mess...
Argh! results pressure from parents...i am already trying my best!...hais...
i really hope to end this quickly...n relieve from wk stress...

my friend told me this...gals usually will contradict their decisions...esp when it comes to relationships...
i dun get it though...but i partly agree....

more studying now...bye

2007-08-11T14:15:00.000+08:00

i think i am too hopeful for it...sometimes i think u r too gd tat i cant match up to it...

i am slightly injured from muscle strains...expected...skip lessons somemore n more torture is coming...leslie kanna scolded by adeline "dun gay!" "Chester, careful of him" i was lik...hahas...
this kind of things r so funny to me now...dunno y...
i feel i relaxed too much this few days although exam is lik few days away...i keep telling myself i muz study...but in the end i am here in front of my com...hais...

honestly...most of the time i feel tat it seems one way traffic...dunno y...cox u nv msg me first? i not sure...i really wan to be closer to u....but nv really got a chance...
everytime i nv msg u not cox forget u...is i juz wan know do u rmb me...or forget bout me...=) sry...

wat a day yesterday

2007-08-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

i v happy u understood wat i said...although i dunno who is ur friend who said the same thing but muz thk tat person...hahas...
national day....was boring for start but evening went for a "cruise" trip...it was more lik a boat...i thought it would be star cruise tat kind of size...but i was over exaggerating though...
i cant believe the boat was so shaky...got me dizzy...sea breeze was great....
i cant believe i did something though...i asked her to be with me! she said not rdy though...sad but happy tat i tried....i would wait for her though...right??
many of u think we could nv be together...i wan to prove all of u wrong...i am not playing..i am dead serious bout her...i juz hope he does not come in between again...even if he is a gangster i will still stop him..
hahas...u might think i crazy again ba...
honestly...this is the first time i really go woo someone...
ok...great....my uncles r asking me if i hav gf...i definitely wont dare to say though...till really together...hahas

i sometimes juz hate exams...its irritating me alot...study n study non stop juz to get A...hais...

i will wait for u...i will love u always...
till the day u give me up...
u r juz lik a song...the song tat is missing in my life...

dunno wat to say

2007-08-08T12:48:00.001+08:00

this entry is to "her"

u r thinking more of him than me...it really gets me angry...but i dun dare to say in front of u as i know tat it will hurt me more...u would rather go out with him than me...when u said impossible n said dun wan mix with bad company i thought ok fine...but now u meeting him...i dun understand...unless he threaten u then of cox i will help...but the worst is u ask me right or wrong...once i saw tat i really damn angry...its lik u tell me impossible liao then u stil go out with him and ask me tat! i really dun wan ask anymore....i really feel lik freezing my heart again...seriously...
i really hope u know wat u r doing...it really hurts me when u still take it lik juz a normal sentence...i wan to take this seriously....i am not playing around kind...there is time to jk n time to be serious...

although there is no real exam till next week...i still wan to study...as i hav nth to do...n nth to look forward to anymore...today wanted to go out but hav no mood already...decided to stay at hm n slp and stone...i really hope u read this u would understand my feelings...

i really love u...but i dun really see a real response...i feel lik one way traffic...i nv msg u not cox i no batt or no time...is i really dunno wat to say n do...i dun wan to be left behind by u though...i juz wan to know ur real feelings...

i think this is my 10th time editing this post...am i exaggerating...tell me...msg me dun tag here

Exams

2007-08-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

stress from exams...no games for me at all...RMB! I WILL NOT PLAY DOTA! as long as i am still trying to be with her...only a few understand...i am still anticipating n waiting patiently for the time i can meet u...hahas..."who wan to meet u huh" tat line i still rmb...hahas...i really wan to hear ur problems not u telling other pp cox i wan to comfort u...

went outing with my primers gp last friday...quite fun but only a few of us...nice knowing seniors n i sure sux at pool...cannot even get a simple ball in...so embarrassing...lucky i not the worst one...hahas...sry carrie...oops...and i skipped my karate...confirm will kanna scolded next lesson...

my dad changed his hp n i getting his hp...almost same standard as mine though...but still "new" hp...prefered nokia cox sony erricsson service sux...

i still love to watch "lame" shows but tat cant be changed..its me...n i got the OST movie! i still cant wait for heroes 2 n will always rmb hiro nakamura...

i think both CP n CT cant get dist at all...shld be flung...hais time for more studying...

Thx for ur great advice cousin

2007-07-29T14:08:00.000+08:00

well...stupid "OMFG" is being a big nuisance here...making a stupid fuss bout being emo...i know who r u though from my guesses...
Who would not wan to keep sad things from pp? everyone do...happy stuffs can be said public right? this person is making nonsensical comments!!! usually pp would understand n would help but not "him" or shld i say "her"
____________________________________________________________________
The Reverse Of Love Is Hatred
____________________________________________________________________
i wan to help her whenever she is sad but i cant get close to her...cant meet her or call her...busyness!! hais...i dun wan lose her though...nv wan to...was quite dwn n nv really laughed though always trying to...
THKS to my cousin...gave me advice it changed me but i still wan to be with her....
he really gave me a wakeup call tat strikes me and allowed me to ponder about myself...from his exp and wat i exp n i really agree to his words...
___________________________________________________________________

Work and work for exams!! i muz do much better or else i hav no hope of going QS...i muz rush hm to do my studying asap after sch this week...i muz exp the "rushing" feeling to understand her and make myself suffer to be able to be in her shoes...
i really hate pp trying to make pranks without thinking of others esp those 2!!! at least others did not play till the extreme...
___________________________________________________________________
happy stuffs? almost none except enjoying the comfort of my bed and msgs from her =)
true tat class is getting better and i am feeling much better to be part of it...much will be better without the person though...am i biased? but alot pp agree with me...
___________________________________________________________________
noone knows how much i hav changed since pri sch...only my pri sch friends will know and those who know me long enough and close...
WENQI!!!WHEN U CALLING ME PLAY BBALL?!!!

normal life

2007-07-25T13:56:00.000+08:00

i am not sure if i am impt to her anot...i juz need ans for my qns n probs...is relationship all about breaking? guess tat is y gals r afraid of being together with guys...

finally projects finish...happy tat its all over...but my CRS results quite unexpected as i did not ask any qns...

neutral sad

2007-07-22T14:25:00.000+08:00

still will be sad till the correct time comes...gd tat we r ok and can continue...
i feel i am useless at handling gals stuffs...hais...but i am happy as i not flirts who do this to understand gals...hahas...nice to know more pp but making me in a blur state..dunno who can wake me up n clear my mind...

i finally watch finish heroes..impressive show....a muz watch...waiting for heroes 2...lol...
exams coming...argh! haven even study...busy doing stupid projects...hais...
ate consecutive 2 days of botak jones...its lik omg...twice also nv finish food...too much to handle...

by the way...i am straight! not gay...hahas...i heard the sweety song tat el played is the same as one of ueto aya song...hais...y these days...copy here n there...arent there any other nice new songs...

days of love seems to be over...i am seeing the light of nth...wk becomes now my 1st priority...i am sry for those who think tat i offended them in previous post...SAY SOME MORE! GO ON! and u know i will ignore...soon...i will ignore all of u...

yesterday saw shengjie n feel lik playing with him bball again with wenqi...she keep playing then nv call me...wat a friend sia....at least she agreed to meet up soon...

2B22 mind my manners...i lik the class the way it is except for some embarrassment....which i would not wan to elaborate...(copy someone's words)

i cant think of happy memories but only sad for now...might be boring to many though...=)

sad still

2007-07-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

i really wan to go on...i dun wan to forget...opportunity..y did i not take it...it hurts when i read the entry...makes me lik out of the way...kicked aside n life moves on...y? y mus this happen? jumping to conclusions again? i dunno...am i too over conscious bout it...or i juz wry too much bout u...

Hiro: i wan to be different from others.
Ando: i wan to be a normal person
Hiro: y would u wan to be with the common pp when u can be special?

i wan to be special too...but how...life with no love is quite torturing...seeing others holding hands n hugging etc...i really miss the times when i am able to do tat...i know my class pp think i am not friendly n always keeping things to myself...u r right...i am keeping to myself which i wont say to anyone...cox it will turn out lik jun chen...its irritating...unfriendly? i can be friendly if my friends r right...seriously, i dun lik those who act cute or wanna be something except jun chen cox tat is truly his character n i believe he will change...i think i know y shikin does not wan to be with our class...sometimes i juz wan to be lik her...i feel she is to be greatly respected...

i am happy for jun chen seriously...i really believe he will change...y jokes will always be taken seriously n y facts r taken as jokes...AND STOP ALL THE RUMOURS BEHIND PP'S BACK!!! u all wan say things bout me n someone else..juz say straight at my face...if someone keeps saying behind ur back...i hav regreted many times for not thinking carefully esp recent issue...

i wan to know more gals which is my aim for end of yr...may be impossible...haha...not tat i not devoted to a gal...is i wan know more bout gals...i hav lost total control over it...

last monday i damn sad n no modd to tok bout live earth then i purposely nv wear green...now they wan me pay $2...wtf is wrong with u all...mind my language...fantastic way of getting class fund...its lik wow....i will always rmb tat sentence..."u dun need cox u got wear the green jacket" i really hated tat way of toking...i really one day will juz shout at pp face...today also make me wan to juz fan lian...but i tahan...

stupid projects!! making me not able to slp...EYE BAGS!! hais...exams r coming too...n i haven start my revision...stress!!! work r piling up...irritating...

i won a bronze medal last week out of 3 events...all fight national pp...of cox lose la...then still put msia state team...of cox lose la...but i cant believe i cant win tat stupid small guy...juz cox of his kata is longer then i lose!! wtf reason is tat!!

Chester: i am really feeling dwn after all tat has happened...i might look happy but dun judge me by juz the cover...look inside...u will understand...

hais

2007-07-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

CRS is all messed up!!! redo n redo...plan n plan...lucky teacher hav delay or else cannot complete...cannot believe i kanna scolded on net for doing something bad but the party said i did not...hais...life is really bad for me...i am starting to finish my food...but nv hungry...
i am going to fight with malaysia national team pp...this is bad..i dunno how they fare...i think i might not survive this ordeal...i wan to be someone special to her...but i am not..losing one's life might not be best solution...but i predicted something bad to happen tml...
noone reads my blog so at least i can keep this to a small no. of pp...=)
i am really happy she msg me...forgiven but not fully...

neutral

2007-07-12T21:49:00.000+08:00

still not gd...although she started reply my msg...still sounds serious but at least there is progress...my friend is right..it takes alot more time now...hais...supposed watch movie with her this week but since last week cant le n she watched already...

i dun feel really sad anymore...after jun chen incident...he fell off the chair today...it was lik OMG!! Story of the yr man!!! he fell dwn he also dunno then still say oops then quickly sit up n act nth happen...but too late...me n zhixiang laugh till crazy...1st time this week i ever really laughed...thx alot man jun chen! but it was damn embarrassing...21 was lik laughing n few of them sms me lik"i wanted to slp already then heard loud bang then wake up" wahahas...he still kanna said by 21...so funny...i now still think of it still laughing although i still will think of her sometimes...tat really brighten up my day...

CT was really boring...i played PSP almost thru out...bad of me but i could not help it...i stop doing something i will think...kanna scolded by zhixiang for playing...hais...u dun understand my situation now dun always think tat i got nth else better to do...

had lots of problems in my mind....CRS project cock up...CP 2 parts not completed both need pass up next week!! then accs tml muz pass up...n i hav to settle my own probs...i still haven collect my 8gb memory stick i bought from overseas thx to my gd friend who went overseas n bought it for me at a cheaper price with no shipping...

my another cousin getting married...hais...i see them i jealous n prob comes up in my mind again...still think she indeed chio...she still tok to me...damn funny...cox i wear man utd shirt then she said "Rooney no more number 8 right?" i was lik...she usually dun tok to me de...then she still said alot thinks bout man utd...did not expect tat...haha...her bro teaching in boon lay sec...all really grow up sia...n me...still stuck in my own past memory...

need slp early due to competition...hais

i may not see u all again

still sad

2007-07-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

i muz thk the person who has been giving me support...i hope its getting better...but i still doubt so...failed to ans my calls n reply my msgs for so many hrs tat is impossible she nv see her hp...still quite bad situation...and i am still sad from it...

story is we going on very well...then i see her put in a relationship in friendster...caused me heartbroken when i asked her izzit she in a relationship then she say yes n how i dunno...tat made me really really heartbroken n sad...then i replied her tat i give up wooing her n dun wan be 3rd party...then she angry...hais...guess i dunno her well yet...making me really bad...izzit i juz dun understand gals...i lost trust? maybe...cox i nv had a real successful relationship in my life..but 1st time i doubted her...n till now i still dunno the truth tat lies within...i juz need help on how to solve this before i use my last breath to do something...hope by this week will end...so even something goes wrong this sunday i will still be happy...

sry...i rarely put pics cox i am too troubled to put any...seriously i wanted to shed my tears but i juz dun hav courage to...my heart is still stoned...

today met yuyu on the way to sch n he started toking bout gals...tat made me think again but i had no choice n said bout same topic...its really so difficult to overcome it...once i hear her fav songs i juz rmb her esp today in MBW...

today spent whole day in sch...do project with ric,jun chen, kenny and zhixiang...tried to be happy thru out but nv really made it...acted stupid in front of them...even jun chen n ric asked me wat happen...i wont say it there...it would make me feel lik dropping tears so i did not n endured thru by saying tat its nth...

teacher said tat my gp had to present next week n this week is lilian's gp...made me sian cox we did project today juz to prepare this friday but seems its a waste of time so i went to eat with my mum...I FAILED TO FINISH MY FOOD TWICE TODAY! ARGH!!! Y?!!!

hais...still dwn as usual...

Sad

2007-07-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

i am feeling really down these few days just hope noone provokes me.a msg from her kills my heart and now my heart is numb like a living dead.even seeing a chio gal also does not help at all.zhixiang tried to get me interested but i juz cant do it.i hav totally no appetitite these few days as i am still wrying and sad.hope this ordeal passes as fast as possible.i am trying many ways juz to get her to be ok again.once i thought of a way i always think of negative effects not positive.i know its my fault but u dun hav to leave me on the side like tat.i dun feel gd at all
i juz need someone to comfort me but not the way jun chen did...i dun wan any kind of lame stuffs...i hav no mood for all these...my heart feels lik being frozen in time n hav no pity for anyone...the nice chester is gone forever...i doubt anyone can melt my heart away...i hav already froze my heart for yrs since sec sch n thought finally someone touched my heart...the temperature is getting lower again..
i am even willing to die for her...i know i hav a lot of friends esp my classmates but i still dun feel its dependable on them...i hav tried many ways to divert my attention on others like doing wk but still will think if i dun do anything...
tml will be another i will stone n think too much...juz ignore me...i amy laugh or smile but its juz a sign of act...forgive me...